Salty Pork Hand

February 4, 2009 at 12:55 am 6 comments

Learned a new phrase today that I love—salty pork hand. It’s the literal translation of the term for pervert in Cantonese and it’s been featured in the latest television idol kerfuffle in Hong Kong, wherein a blind gossip item has implicated a mysterious male TVB “artiste” in groping a couple female starlets. It’s got the internets abuzz over there, with top male stars like Joe Ma and Moses Chan avidly denying that they are the salty pork hand in question.

So who else is a salty pork hand?

edison-bobo

Edison, Bobo Chun, and little edison, 2007

Edison Chen? For being a raging exhibitionist and non-consensually exposing his many girlfriends’ ungroomed pudenda to international scrutiny?

geoghan200

Father Geoghan busted, 1991

Father John Geoghan and too many of his fellow priests, for serially molesting little boys?

Sen. Larry Craig mugs for the camera

Sen. Larry Craig mugs for the camera

Sen. Larry Craig, for denying he likes sex in public toilets?

R. Kelly, prisonwear

R. Kelly, for liking it like that with underaged girls?

Who’s your nominee for salty pork hand?

UPDATE: Looks like whistleblower Kingdom Yuen (gotta love those English names the HK stars pick) has backed down from her original accusations and that TVB is trying to sweep the whole salty pork hand incident under the rug. Which means the speculation can continue unabated, of course, since Hong Kong pop culture loves a sex scandal. But it seems like without solid incriminating evidence this one may not get as much mileage as last year’s Edison Chen sex picture incident, which was the best scandal to come along in decades.

UPDATE 2: If anyone knows the Cantonese etymology for the term “salty pork hand,” please let me know. We are all dying to find out.

UPDATE 3: Looks like TVB’s Salty Pork Hand is Ellesmere Choi.

And my friend Jay Chan in Hong Kong translates the term as “salty wet hands.” Eeeewww.

UPDATE 4: Another “salty pork hand” has emerged on the Hong Kong scene, through another mysterious blind item. The start of a trend?

UPDATE 5: Wongsaurus over at LoveHKFilm breaks it down like this:

Not familiar with “salty pork” only “salty wet” but this sexual harassmen thing is obviously about non-consensual touching and groping.

Salty = Hom
Wet = Sup
Sow/Sou = Hand

Hom + Sup = Compound word (slangy) for Horny, Dirty (as in sexually dirty), pornographic, lewd and lascivious. [There are other more proper terminology for tawdry and sexual nasties and one example is uttered in the movie Crazy "N The City during the double-decker bus scene with Eason Chan, Chloe Chiu, and the masturbating pervert passenger.]

Please note that my romanization of Cantonese may not be accurate Yale or Wade-Giles.

Thus Hom + Sup + Sou suggests that someone did some nasty fondling. We’re all adults here so we leave it to your imagination.

Entry filed under: cecilia cheung, edison chen, gillian chung, hong kong, movies, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. P Danger  |  February 4, 2009 at 7:15 am

    I sometimes even I think I have a salty pork hand side.

    You can now refer to me as P Kelly.

    Reply
  • 2. valeriesoe  |  February 4, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    Hi P,

    Everyone has a little saltiness in them, I think. As long as it’s consensual and doesn’t hurt anyone, it’s all good.

    Love, v.

    Reply
  • 3. ewaffle  |  February 11, 2009 at 7:39 pm

    All four of the those you mention are particularly salty (or porky perhaps–you are right that everyone wants to know the linguistic basis for the term).

    R. Kelly for shooting videos of his conquests–which were being hawked on the streets on the west side of Chicago while he was on trail.

    Larry Craig for being on of the most reliably anti-gay rights voices in the Senate before he tried to pick up a cop in the airport.

    Father Geoghan for being a horrible human being.

    Edison Chen for being really, really stupid in dropping off his laptop without thinking.

    This is an outstanding blog.

    Reply
  • 4. valeriesoe  |  February 11, 2009 at 8:24 pm

    Hey E,

    Thanks so much for the kind words–I’ve read tons of your reviews on hkmdb so I’m very flattered. Thanks for reading!

    v.

    Reply
  • [...] swamped with hits from people searching “edison chen sex photos” and related terms, even though a previous post only briefly mentioned our boy Edison. It’s probably not significant traffic but it shows that the [...]

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  • [...] because SRK is one of the main reasons for the healthy traffic on this site. Along with fellow semi-naked movie star Edison Chen, SRK’s posts have received fully one-quarter of the total visits to this blog. Nothing like a [...]

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